Thursday, April 28, 2016

Points of View- Different isnt bad

Different isn’t bad. I really want us all to remember that. It seems that the further I have immersed myself into this world the more divisive it can be, when really and truly we should simply be each other’s greatest cheerleaders. Having a child with special needs is hard work, those that are intimately familiar with it can provide strength and encouragement unlike anyone else.
What I mean by that is- I have found success for my daughter and initially I wanted to shout it from the roof tops, I wanted to tell every parent I saw and let them in on this secret that could help their child too. I was shocked to learn how dismissive some parents were and I was sad for that child. It took me a long time to wrap my head around why a parent wouldn’t want to know more, why they didn’t want to fight for their child the way I was for Lindsey. Over time I learned or maybe better I realized what was going on. Some of these parents had been so exhausted and had tried things early on that didn’t work so they decided to accept the condition for what it was, to accept the limitations of their child and to accept the lifestyle of constantly caring for a special needs child. The idea of them not doing enough or not trying a particular path they found insulting and I personally believe the guilt would be too great if they ever acknowledged there was more they could do. The most common response I get from those families is “yeah, that’s great, we tried something like that years ago – but my son/daughter is just to severe for it to work”. In my heart of hearts I know all these kids can improve and be their best, maybe not a full recovery but they can have a better quality of life. But they are not my child. These are good parents, they simply are tired and they focus on the small moments of joy rather than the big battles that could cause them to feel let down again. It is important to try to understand their point of view because we have not lived their experience.
There are others that are thirsty for the knowledge of hope and healing and desperate to hear stories of success- so don’t feel like you should keep these moments of conquering obstacles to yourself. Please share your journey with others we will all benefit from it. If you find a family that is content and is dismissive – that’s ok. Believe it or not they still find some inspiration in the message. I have been shocked to learn how many folks we personally know that have ASD in their family or know a child with ASD. Spreading the word of hope is an amazing thing, it really changes lives.
Once families learn about Biomed Solutions (Therapy/ supplements/ diet) they once more become divisive. Just like the Breast or Bottle fed debate when you are pregnant- parents quickly decide what methods are best for them and tend not waiver. There are some that believe in supplements like me and my family, there are some that believe in VERY strict diets without supplements to get those vitamins from homemade smoothies and organic 100% homemade meals with no preservatives, others believe in essential oils and how they impact the body. I think many of us try all three paths and see what works for us or what combo works. My reason in writing this is because as you learn more and understand more you will feel like maybe you are not doing it right or doing enough. Perhaps you will hear someone else’s story and decide that is what you should have done all along. Please don’t be waived by the popular trend of the moment. Trust your gut, all of these things do take time, stay the course that you feel is best and perhaps add to it as you see fit.
Understand that anything you choose to do, will help your child. The best advice I can give is to learn about what choices you make and then stick with them. At some point if you haven’t already you then find a doctor that will help you in this quest. Trust me – finding that doctor will be like the weight of the world is finally lifted off your shoulders. And all of the information that you have learned will be beneficial when working with them from that point forward.
So to sum it up, you are about to be faced with a ton of options, study and find the one that you think fits you, your child and your family- don’t choose to do something that is so hard you can’t stick with it. Then once you find success, SHARE your story, with us, with your community with other families of special needs. Don’t let any “nay-sayers” get you down. Be proud of your accomplishments no matter how small and know that you are the champion your child has been waiting for.      

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